When Gratitude and Dissatisfaction Exist at the Same Time

What yoga teaches us about craving, contentment, and the sacred longing beneath our restlessness.

Namaste Friend,

Before we dive in to this week’s post, I wanted to let you know that this month’s podcast is all about returning home to your body.

Many women reach midlife and suddenly realize they have lost connection to their bodies. They are living from the neck up — unable to feel, trust, or interpret their body’s messages.

Yoga teaches that the body is the doorway to the soul and the keeper of our life force, intuition, inner wisdom, and truth. When we learn to listen to the body, we begin to reconnect with the parts of ourselves we may have ignored, overridden, or forgotten.

This month, I’m exploring how we can gently rebuild that connection through yoga philosophy, nervous system awareness, and embodiment practices, that will help you come home to yourself.

If this is something you’ve been longing for, I hope you’ll listen in.

156: Feeling Disconnected From Your body? How To Come Home In Midlife.

157: Live Coaching: Anxiety, Trauma in the Body, and Reconnecting with Yourself in Midlife

Begining To See Clearly In Midlife

For as long as I can remember, I have lived with a quiet undercurrent of dissatisfaction — a restless feeling that there must be something more, something different, something just out of reach.

In midlife, I’m beginning to understand this pattern through the lens of yoga philosophy, not as a personal failure, but as part of the human longing for peace, purpose, and a deeper connection to ourselves.

A Brief Moment of Satisfaction

Yesterday, I woke up to a beautiful sunny day.

I lay in bed watching the light reflect off the ceiling and my light gray walls. It felt so soft and peaceful. I snuggled into my comfy bed, with its soft sheets and pillowy comforter. The birds were singing a loud chorus through my open windows, and my dog lay sprawled out at my feet.

I could hear my husband and son downstairs talking and laughing in the kitchen.

I felt so immensely grateful in that moment. Not just for that experience, but for my whole life.

Our family has gone through some really tough times. But here we are — not perfect, but good. Really good.

I have a rich and beautiful life. A husband who adores me and is willing to do the work to keep our relationship alive. Two kind-hearted children who have made me a better person. A peaceful and safe home that we lovingly restored for years until it felt like our sanctuary. Work that feeds my soul. And a community of friends and family who have sustained us through every hardship.

I felt powerful gratitude for all of those things in that one moment.

My heart felt like it was expanding so much that it might actually burst my chest wide open. I kept silently repeating, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sounds like a beautiful moment, right?

It was.

But the key word here is moment.

When Restlessness Interrupts Gratitude

I got up and started in on my usual routine.

Brush my teeth. Let the dog out. Start the coffee. Clean up the daily morning mess in the kitchen, left by my children who seem untrainable when it comes to cleaning up after themselves. Feed the dog. Answer about fifty rapid-fire questions from my twelve-year-old about his social calendar for the day.

In a matter of twenty minutes, I went from bliss to complete irritation and dissatisfaction.

My thoughts started swirling:

Why am I always the one who has to let out the dog and feed him?

Why can’t these kids learn to clean up after themselves?

Can I take a sip of coffee before I get interrogated?

When will this routine change? I am so bored. I need to get away.

That last one — that’s the root of why my mood went south.

Because here is my dirty little secret:

I have spent a lifetime feeling a sometimes subtle, and sometimes overwhelming, sense of dissatisfaction, restlessness, and boredom — always reaching for something “better.”

These feelings have been my steady companions through life, coloring my marriage, my motherhood journey, my work, and my overall life satisfaction.

I was always fighting the feeling that there was something more, or better, somewhere else.

Always reaching for something that would finally make me feel complete.

“I’ll Be Happier When…”

Have you ever heard yourself saying those words? I sure have!

For years, I believed I wasn’t fully happy because I had made the wrong choices in my life.

I would have thoughts like:

If only I had settled down in a different part of the country.

I married the wrong man. Maybe I would be happier if I got a divorce.

I shouldn’t have had children. How could I live the way my soul is yearning for with kids in tow?

I shouldn’t have chosen to be a nurse. If I could only find my purpose, I would feel content.

Why did we buy a house that needed so many renovations? I hate living here.

These are only a tiny fraction of the repeating thoughts that consumed my mind on a daily basis.

Right alongside those thoughts were the “fixing” thoughts.

Maybe I’ll be happier when:

The kids get older.

I find my purpose.

The house is finally done being renovated.

My husband and I do something fun and exciting together.

We have more money

Seeing The Pattern Clearly

Do you want to know what happened?

The kids got older. The house is done being renovated. I’m living my purpose. My husband and I make a point of scheduling time for fun and novel experiences and we have more money.

(I haven’t moved to a different part of the country…but it’s still on my list! 😜)

Do you know what else happened?

Feelings of dissatisfaction, boredom, and restlessness still show up on a regular basis.

In every season of my life — when things were, by all outward accounts, going well and when things were dark and scary — dissatisfaction loomed at the edges, constantly threatening to dismantle the life I had built.

What’s Your Affiliation?

This is my affliction.

For others, it may be comparison, perfectionism, people-pleasing, control, self-doubt, shame, or resentment.

We all have something.

Some way the mind tries to convince us that we are not enough, or that we are not okay.

In yoga philosophy, these afflictions are called the kleshas. The kleshas are the mental and emotional patterns that cloud our perception and keep us from experiencing inner peace.

They are not considered character flaws. They are patterns of conditioning, misperception, and protection that keep us from seeing ourselves and life clearly.

My particular flavor of klesha is called raga in Sanskrit.

Raga means attachment or craving, and it is the misperception that if I had something outside of this moment, I would finally be happy, satisfied, and complete.

For me, raga shows up as restlessness, craving a different life, and the belief that happiness lives somewhere other than here.

Let’s Normalize The Normal

These patterns often come with some unpleasant emotions. Mine sure have.

Anger, guilt, shame, resentment, blame, sadness, and confusion have accompanied many moments of dissatisfaction. Sometimes those feelings were directed outwardly toward others, and sometimes they were directed inwardly toward myself.

But always with judgment.

When we can learn to see our afflictions as part of the human experience, we can start to get some distance from them.

We can begin to see them clearly for what they are: the ego’s misguided attempt to keep us safe, avoid pain, and find happiness.

The practice of yoga is to learn to see what is really happening in these moments, to get curious about the deeper truth beneath them, to respond with compassion, and to remember that peace is always found by returning to yourself.

Could This Be A Good Thing?

My longing for change, beauty, adventure, and aliveness is not a bad thing. In fact I believe it is part of my dharma. Those feelings of dissatisfaction were, and are, messengers.

They keep me asking the deeper questions.

Who am I really?

Why am I here?

What is mine to do with this precious life that has been gifted to me?

It has nudged me toward growth, healing, self-discovery, purpose, and a life that feels more honest and aligned. It has expanded me. It has refused to let me settle for simply going through the motions.

The problem was never the longing itself. The problem was believing the longing meant my life was wrong.

This is why self-discovery in midlife matters so much. Not because we need to blow up our lives, abandon what we have built, or constantly chase something new, but because we are being invited to see ourselves, our patterns, and our longings more clearly.

Maybe the practice is learning to discern the difference between the dissatisfaction that wants me to escape my life, and the sacred longing that wants me to inhabit it more fully.

I would love to hear from you:

What is your affliction? And what do you think it might be trying to teach you?

If You’re Feeling This Too

If you recognize this pattern in yourself — the restlessness, the dissatisfaction, the sense that something more is calling but you aren’t sure what it means — you don’t have to figure it out alone.

This is the heart of the work I do with women in midlife: learning to quiet the noise of the mind, calm the nervous system, reconnect with the body, and create enough inner space to hear what your longing is really trying to tell you.

Through yoga philosophy, meditation, compassionate self-inquiry, and clarity work, we begin to untangle the patterns that keep you feeling stuck so you can move toward more peace, purpose, and a more honest relationship with yourself.

You can learn more about working with me at: katiefarinas.com

Until next time my friend. I love you so much!

Namaste

Sometimes simply knowing we are not alone in our inner experience can be deeply healing.