Trouble Sleeping Anyone?
How yoga philosophy helped me soften into sleepless nights
Sleep Problems Anyone?
I woke up at 4:30 am this morning and couldn’t fall back to sleep. 😴 Who’s with me? Anyone else struggling with sleep in midlife?
Sleep has been a challenge for me since developing chronic migraine 12 years ago. It’s probably one of the hardest parts of this disease — and perimenopause isn’t helping.
I’ve always been the type of person who needs eight hours of sleep. Without it, I feel physically ill, mentally off, and emotionally fragile. Even in college, I never pulled an all-nighter or stayed out late on weekends. I love and need my sleep.
When insomnia hit in my mid-30s, it tanked my mental health. A bad night (and there were many) ruined my entire day. I was grumpy, sad, frustrated, and downright furious that this was happening. I became determined to fix it, convinced I couldn’t be happy until I did. Well… mission failed. I didn’t fix my sleep, and I wasted so much time and energy being angry, sad, and fighting against the flow of life. Ironically, that resistance only doubled my unhappiness and made me miss out on a lot of the good in my days.
Have You Ever Been on a Mission?
Have you ever been on a mission to fix something you didn’t like or thought was wrong? Can you remember what that felt like in your body? Contracted? Tight? Closed off? Angry? Rigid?
The energy we bring to a situation we see as “needing to be fixed” is one of control — rigid and tight. When we’re contracted in body and mind, there’s no space for our higher self to speak, or for us to see how the experience might serve us. We end up fighting life instead of flowing with it.
👉 I also explored this theme from a different angle in this week’s podcast episode. If you’d like to hear more about how we can be both loving and courageous, strong and soft, impactful and kind, you can listen here:
🎧 Listen to Honey In The Heart & Fire In. The Belly
Sweet Surrender
In yoga, this is the practice of Ishvara pranidhana — surrender.
It presupposes that there is a Divine, loving force at work in our lives. Everything we experience is there for a reason and can be used for our growth if we choose.
If you’ve taken a yoga class, you’ve likely practiced śavāsana (corpse pose) at the end. For some, it feels like a waste of time. But it’s arguably the most important pose — it teaches surrender.
In śavāsana, we are asked to completely let go, trusting that the breath will breathe us, the earth will support us, and the body will renew itself. Nothing to do but be.
But often resistance shows up, like:
Fidgeting or wiggling
Eyes darting open
Holding tension in the jaw
Running through your to-do list
Thinking, “When will this be over?”
Sitting up early when emotions arise
How often does that show up in the rest of life? For me, sleep has been a big one!
The irony is, once you surrender fully to the moment, new possibilities and healing can emerge. Life feels more easeful, light, and free.
How Do We Let Go?
If you notice you’re fighting what is, try these three steps:
Become aware that you’re in resistance. (All change begins with awareness.)
Choose surrender. Your power lies in the choice.
Melt into the moment. Close your eyes, breathe, and notice where resistance is in your body. Breathe into that space, hold it with compassion, and allow it to soften.
Action & Surrender
Surrender is not passive. It’s courageous, paired with taking responsibility for what you can control.
I now accept that I may have many sleepless nights. I still do everything I can to support good sleep — morning sunlight, exercise, stress management, one cup of coffee, a cool dark room, limited screens, HRT. But once I’ve done my part, I accept what is.
Will I keep looking for ways to improve my sleep? Absolutely.
Will I be clumsy, foggy, irritable, and take twice as long to edit this newsletter (😜)? Yup.
But I won’t let it control my mood, my relationships, or my gratitude.
This morning, I used my extra time to see my kids off to school and journal. And honestly — how can I be mad at that? 😉
What Are You Resisting?
So what about you? What feels tight, heavy, or constricted? Where can you release your grip, accept what is, and melt into the present moment?
💬 Share your reflections with me
I might be napping, but I’ll get back to you soon! 😂